Friday poem

I'm posting an original poem every Friday for a year. This is around 37/52.

Last Requests

I would prefer not to die "funny."

By this I mean not hit by a clown car,

and avoiding all banana peels.

No video of a final pratfall

should be preserved, regardless of its

hilarity.

A fatal paper cut from a winning lottery ticket

is out of the question.

My unhandiness with tools

need not be mentioned,

nor the media alerted,

should my habitual carelessness produce an

explosive where a poison is

required.

Graveside cries of “If only he had learned to tie a proper knot!” won't do me the least bit of good.

If I drown in soup, the medium should remain unspecified.

It need not be pointed out that I was doomed

from the moment I donned that dog costume.